It is possible that while home for the holidays this year, I encountered the worst Bloody Mary on the face of the planet. The only problem is, I can’t be sure because I refused to try it. Actually, let me back up…

The day after Christmas, me and my girlfriends from high school decided to get together for brunch. Six of us (Regan, Alyssa, Laura, her husband Jeff, my boyfriend and I) all met at San Chez Bistro in downtown GR early Sunday morning. Unfortunately, we were TOO early…for bloodies, anyway - they don’t sell alcohol until noon on Sundays in Michigan. Awesome, thanks state government!  We ordered food (mine was completely mediocre) while drinking some good press-pots of coffee and checking out the drink menu.  They had two bloody marys listed on the menu:

Mo’ Rockin’ Mary Moroccan: spiced bloody mary with Ketel One Citroen, pickle juice and citrus mojo. Spicy! 8.95

Black ‘n’ Bloody: Chopin vodka, Oloroso sherry, Zing-Zang and squid ink with a goat cheese stuffed date 9.95

I’m not that adventurous when it comes to bloodies and the thought of squid ink gives me the heebie-jeebies, so come noon, I ordered the Mo’ Rockin’ bloody (which we all insisted on referring to as the Mo Rocca bloody mary). Jeff followed my lead while the others seemed to be feeling wild. Oh, except Alyssa. She just really wanted a goat cheese-stuffed date.  So while Regs, Michael and Laura got the Black ‘n’ Bloody, Alyssa asked for the same WITHOUT the squid ink (figuring it’d just be a regular bloody).

Well.

The Mo’ Rockin’ bloody was not very good.  It tasted like chili. Lots of curry or cumin or something that made it taste like chili. It, however, at least looked like a bloody mary (I forgot to take a photo but here’s one of Karl Lagerfeld drinking one, via flickr).

The Black ‘n’ Bloody, on the other hand, came in a martini glass, looked like tar and smelled like a dirty aquarium. It was JET black. And the best part?  Each of their drinks had a deformed baby squid hanging off the side of the glass, with a some tentacles longer than others.

Michael says he assumed there would just be a splash of ink, like, for novelty sake. He thought it would be like having a bloody made with Clamato. Not so. He tried to get me to try it a bunch of times but even writing a blog about bloodies couldn’t compel me to take a sip of that inky grossness. So, you know, you can’t really take it from me.

Alyssa: I ordered the Black ‘n’ Bloody without the squid ink. It was still horrible. Very thin with no flavor. Although, I was the only one that ate my goat cheese stuffed date because it wasn’t covered in ink. THAT was delicious.

Regan: If you enjoy sipping on saltwater, the smell of fish and love the color of black for a drink, order the black bloody. The most awful drink that I’ve ever tasted. Hey, we should have taken a picture of your hummus-tasting bloody. Oh well, there’s always next time…

Uh, right.  At $10 a pop, I can’t believe these are still on their menu. Our waiter told us that no one really orders them (smart folks), but still charged us even when he saw the nearly full glasses being left to stink up the room.

San Chez Bistro and San Chez Cafe 

38 West Fulton
Grand Rapids, MI 49503 (map) 

 616.774.TAPA (8272)
http://www.sanchezbistro.com

 

A few times since we started this Bloody Mary awareness campaign (or blog- whatever) I have been in some bars and thought, “Yuck, This is SO not the place for a Bloody but I’ll try one for the good of the people.” So I ordered them in these places, hoping for the best but truly expecting the watery, tomato-soupy, worst. Surprisingly, I came across a few totally drinkable, solid, three-star Bloodies. And the pattern that I’m finding in these lovely surprises is this: the ones that have been drinkable have all been made with Zing Zang mix. I know, I know, I’m not a big ready made mix girl myself- but ask yourself: decent bloody in a surprising bar, or total avoidance? In this case- I choose the mix! So next time you’re not sure- just see if they use Zing Zang- I bet you won’t be sorry.

(P.S. Zing Zang is made in Milwaukee- just sayin…)

One of my best friends, Deb, moved to Milwaukee a couple of years ago. It’s a short drive there from Chicago (although usually takes extra time thanks to weekend traffic) and we try to see each other as often as possible. This summer was jam-packed with activities but we found a free weekend for Michael and I to head up to Wisconsin. The original plan was to go on the brewery boat tour but we didn’t want to lose an entire day, so we altered the plan to include Rockerbox, some really great bars and restaurants (Nomad, Von Trier, Wisconsin Cheese Mart, The Best Place and Alterra), and one awesome brewery tour and fish fry (Lakefront Brewery). You can read more about our beer adventures on Michael’s blog: Good Beer Hunting.

Typically, when I make it up to Milwaukee, we jam in as many bloody marys as possible. My number one favorite place is Comet, where they put slices of bacon in their bloodies, but there’s often a wait. When we finally staggered out of the house Saturday morning we were starving (starving!) and ruled-out Comet. Deb suggested the Garage, since it was on our way to Rockerbox, where Deb’s boyfriend already was, with his motorcycle. I’ve been to Hi Hat before, which is attached to the Garage, but never here. 

The place was pretty cool - very unusual decor (re-purposed wood tables, cool metal chairs and big tree branches everywhere) and an incredibly good looking crowd. The table next to ours had 2 seriously HOT guys (and, well, one average-looking one) playing Magic. Yeah, as in “the Gathering.” Our waiter was almost freakishly hot. He had kind of 1950ish hair and was tan and aloof. He actually looked like this guy:

What? You’re here to read about bloodies, not hot guys? Fine then:

We each ordered a bloody at the Garage and they were really, really good. They had a nice spice (Sriracha, I think), great flavor and incredible garnish. The pickled asparagus was especially good. They came with beer chasers, which is the norm here—thank you, Milwaukee. The food was really great, too. The Garage and their bloodies are definitely worth checking out.

We intended to go to brunch on Sunday at Trocadero or one of the other restaurants owned by the same group to get bloodies but we ended up just heading to Alterra and hitting the road. Next time I make it up there, I promise to get at least one bloody reviewed: Comet’s or the Frenchie from Trocadero.

the Garage 1/2 (bordering on 5)

1701 N Arlington Place
Milwaukee, WI 53202  (map)

(414) 220-8090
http://hihatgarage.com

I have never claimed to be a purveyor of beer. Generally since living in Chicago I have just asked Hil, “which one will I like?” And she picks a not-crappy beer that is also non-offensive to us undeveloped beer-drinkers. I guess you can say, “I like beer, but not like that.” So I am definitely up for trying something that might enhance that all-American beverage for me. Enter the Michelada.

“Michelada” is kind of a loose term for a Mexican drink that consists of a beer with lime juice and salt, plus assorted spices, hot sauces, and tomato juice or Clamato. In some Western states, the American South, and Canada it’s apparently called a “Red Beer” (thank you Martha Stewart) and is a pale lager with a shot or two of tomato juice- or Clamato for our friends to the North.

So my interest in this derivation of my beloved Bloody Mary began when my friend pointed out Budweiser’s new ode to Clamato in the grocery store. As I live and breathe to service the needs of Bloody Mary drinkers everywhere, I figured it was important I check it out. It’s called the Chelada and quite frankly, I expected it to suck. But it’s good! And I even find myself craving them from time to time on hot Chicago days! They have a bit of spice for flavor but no real heat- but they are more much flavorful and interesting than just a plain old beer for me. After finding that I enjoy them, I’ve been trying Clamato/beer mixes of my own at home over ice- and I’ve definitely become a fan of the red beer. They could use slightly more Clamato tang- but all in all, I like.

Shortly after this Red Beer epiphany Hil noticed the Mas Sabrosa Michelada mix at 7-Eleven and I picked it up and tried it- but it pretty much just tastes like dumping a ton of Tabaso sauce in a beer- it isn’t nearly as good as the Chelada or mixing your own Clamato and beer. I threw it out after one taste.

I thought I needed to give the professionals a go at the Michelada so I headed over to Big Star- a Mexican place in Wicker Park that I heard serves the best Micheladas in town. They have a super yummy menu and very hip surroundings- I think it’s some sort of a converted garage and the servers and bartenders are colorfully tattooed and, no doubt, clothed from the local American Apparel.  I sat at the bar and had a basket of chips, guacamole, and I’ll admit, some delicious pork belly tacos. On the menu it said my Michelada was a Tecate with a salted rim, lime and salsa- but it’s not the chunky kind. It was a mix of hot sauces that created a refreshing beer with a kick. It was not super spicy, but the layers of flavors from the different sauces made for a really interesting drink. It’s not the kind you can drink a lot of- but one of them was perfect with my meal.
   

All this in mind, if you’re looking for a new taste and something out of the ordinary, give a red beer or a Michelada a try. I don’t recommend the Mas Sabrosa mix- but the Budweiser Chelada or simply a Clamato-laced beer will now be a part of my regular rotation.

Happy drinking!

Big Star

1531 N. Damen
Chicago, IL 60622
(773) 235-4039
http://www.bigstarchicago.com/

Sorry for the lack of posts recently. Life gets busy, I guess. Lindsay has been spending most of her time job hunting and swimming in Lake Michigan, while I’ve been looking for a new place to live, holding a garage sale, playing tennis and preparing for a friend’s baby shower (amongst life’s other realities). Oh, and we’ve been watching So You Think You Can Dance. We miss you, Alex.

(I love you, Pasha! - Hillary)

I thought I would jump-start the blog again by doing a quick round-up of some bloodies we’ve had recently that don’t necessarily warrant a whole post. Coming soon we’ll have a new post from Lindsay on Micheladas and a review of mass-market Bloody Mary mixes.

South Water Kitchen

225 N Wabash Ave
Chicago, IL 60601 (map)
Neighborhood: The Loop

(312) 236-9300
http://www.southwaterkitchen.com

On one of the first really nice days we had this summer, I sat outside and had a boozin’ lunch at South Water Kitchen. They have great and somewhat novel food, if a bit over-priced. I ordered a bloody mary and the waiter asked if I cared what kind of vodka (I didn’t) and if I wanted it spicy (I did). I assume when you tell them you don’t care about the vodka they make it with well, however, this bloody was made with Kettle One and cost me ten freaking dollars. It was a completely average bloody - barely spicy, with sort of a smoky dry heat. It was thin, with only pepper breaking up the tomato color. Garnished with lemon, lime, celery and an olive, it apparently also had a “tiny straw.” That’s written in my notes! I guess, look at the picture, maybe the straw was one of those cocktail ones and totally wrong for the glass? It was awhile ago.

-Hillary

Arlington Park | Derby Day 1/2

2200 W Euclid Ave (at Wilke Rd)
Arlington Heights, IL 60005 (map)

(847) 385-7500
http://www.arlingtonpark.com/

We went to derby day at Arlington Park this year. It would have been a truly fun experience had it not been insanely cold and/or had we not been dressed in light spring dresses. Live. Learn. Anyway, we had a package deal so drinks were free and we quickly discovered we could get bloodies! They were entirely nothing special but they used a good mix, they had Tabasco out to make them spicier and they were FREE! We were surprised at our good fortune.

- Hillary & Lindsay

Green Zebra

1460 W Chicago Ave
Chicago, IL 60642 (map)
Neighborhood: Noble Square

(312) 243-7100
www.greenzebrachicago.com

The boy and I had a Groupon to Green Zebra. We went for brunch and were WAY underwhelmed. Food was completely average (bordering on gross) and the ambiance was weird. HOWEVER: the bloody mary was incredible. I don’t have any specific notes from it but I remember that it was really really good (from their website: Green Zebra Bloody Mary, North Shore Vodka, tomato, spices $8). Too bad there’s not a bar at GZ or I’d go back just for the bloodies.

- Hillary

Bartlett’s Gourmet Grill & Tavern 1/2

131 E. Dunes Highway 12
Beverly Shores, IN 46301  (map)

(219) 879-3081
http://www.eatatbartletts.com

Michael and I were driving to Michigan for the 4th of July weekend and traffic was so so bad. We got hungry and decided to find something other than fast food. He checked his phone (or, you know, my phone b/c he had thrown his on the ground—it just hasn’t been the same since updating to the new OS). He found Bartlett’s and we headed a bit out of our way to check it out. It didn’t look like much from the outside but they had a great side patio and really good food. It’s kind of pricey but I had this awesome bread salad and M had some incredible fish. We were going to get beers but, excited by the house-made venison stick garnish, we ordered bloodies (a “Buckin Good” Bloody Mary - $6). Fail. They just were not that good. I gave them 2 1/2 stars mostly for looking pretty and having fun garnish. Definitely check the place out but stick to beers.

- Hillary

Jane’s

1655 W Cortland Street
Chicago, IL 60622  (map)
Neighborhood: Bucktown

(773) 862-5263
www.janesrestaurant.com

Again, I had a Groupon. I’ve been to Jane’s plenty of times and have always had a great experience. This time was, generally, no different, but I was sadly disappointed with the bloody mary. It was $8 and completely mediocre. Their website shows that for an extra $1.50 you can get a Coronita. I wish I had known that; the waitress should have mentioned it (although $9.50 is ridiculously expensive). On Fridays from 11a - 3p they are only $1. This is the only instance in which I’d re-order a bloody here.

- Hillary

With everything else so good, they should throw a little attention to their bloodies.

- Lindsay

Glenn’s Diner 1/2

1820 W Montrose Ave
Chicago, IL 60613 (map)
Neighborhood: Ravenswood, Lakeview

(773) 506-1720
www.glennsdiner.com

I was told the bloodies at Glenn’s Diner in Lincoln Square were impressive, and visually they are. Garnished with shrimp, honeydew, carrots, celery, and a healthy rim of Old Bay and celery salt these formidable drinks are closer to a side salad. Sadly, the taste does not match the presentation. I love horseradish but that’s ALL you taste in Glenn’s Bloody Mary. Disappointing to say the least.

- Lindsay

I, actually, completely disagree with this. I think the bloodies at Glenn’s are awesome (if sometimes too filling). I’m leaving Lindsay’s 2 1/2 stars, though…for now. Maybe I’ll review them on a different occasion (it’s been awhile).

- Hillary

Gingerman Tavern

3740 N Clark St
Chicago, IL 60613 (map)
Neighborhood: Wrigleyville, Lakeview

(773) 549-2050
Gingerman on Yelp

Dave at Gingerman near Cubs Stadium puts EVERYTHING at his disposal in his Bloody Mary mix. His late night ingredient list (it’s true Readers, they’re not just for brunch anymore) is shown in the photo here. His willingness to try anything shows - these Bloodies are GOOD - they are surprisingly tangy and flavorful. Almost makes you forget you’re in Wrigleyville!

- Lindsay

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I had heard rave reviews about brunch at Tweet so my friend Deb and I decided to check it out. While the rumors turned out to be true about the food at Tweet (Vegetarian Biscuits and Gravy? Yes, Please!), as you can imagine, I was going for the purely for the Bloody Mary menu.

But first things first, Tweet is a cafe in the Uptown neighborhood in Chicago. It’s a little off the beaten path but fully worth the trip. Kitschy 1950’s music plays in the cheery, cozy dining room. The decor is bright and vintage-y and the chairs are padded and super comfy. It’s kind of like hanging out in your hip grandmas kitchen. I went during the week so we didn’t have to wait at all- but watch out, I hear the lines are long on the weekends. Not too bad a wait though- because right next door is Big Chicks- so you can order a Bloody off the shared Bloody Mary menu and settle in at the bar and the folks at Tweet will come and get you when it’s your turn to sit.

And what a Bloody Mary menu it is!

Deb tried the Wasabi Bloody first and I started with the Classic (I’m a purist by nature). Both were garnished with olives, a lemon, a lime, carrot and celery. The classic was a little bland- I thought it could use a bit more spice- but the consistency was perfect. Not ketchupy-thick or chunky and not watery, juuuust right. Deb’s wasabi Bloody Mary was really tasty, the wasabi was used in just the right amount to give a kick but it didn’t burn the mouth or leave a super-strong aftertaste like you would think it might.

I followed my classic with the Smokin’ Hot- and it was aptly named. On the first sip I eagerly took a gulp and HOLY CRAP. All I can say is mix well and drink  slowly…it was a bit too much for me but they graciously added a few more oz. of mix to cut the heat. I’ve had Bloody Marys cut with Siracha before but this one seemed a bit heavy-handed. Don’t get me wrong- I think if you’re into spicy it would be right up your alley- but it kicked my butt.

That said, I would go back (and actually have) any time for the Wasabi Bloody Mary- and definitely for their delicious organic, and vegetarian-friendly (yet still chorizo heavy) menu. Someone much braver than me will have to take on the Hot, Hot Bloody Mary here and let me know how it goes, though- I just don’t have the chops for it.

Tweet
5020 N. Sheridan Rd.
(between Argyle St & Carmen Ave)
Chicago, IL 60640
Neighborhood: Uptown

(773) 728-5576
www.tweet.biz

I just moved to Chicago after nearly 10 years in NYC. And what I’ve found is that changing your life completely is really hard, and the stress of it has been entirely all-encompassing at some points in the last few months. I’m certainly nowhere near being “set” yet- and that’s still scary- but one of the beautiful side effects of this whole transition is that I am resolutely dedicated to adopting a positive attitude. My doom and gloom, “Debbie-downer” attitude was a holdover from a life that came to no longer suit me in NYC. Don’t get me wrong- I have wonderful friends, favorite places, and super happy memories from my time in New York. But at some point it just stopped being the right life for me and-lucky girl!- an opportunity came up that would allow me to try to change things. So now here I am in a new city, with no job, making new friends (and re-learning some old ones), and trying to figure things out. But even in the darkest moments- I have no regrets about attempting this life change.

“So”, you’re asking yourself, “what does this have to do with Bloody Marys?” Well: I am on a train to Detroit (just passing through Ann Arbor!) where I will go promptly to my Moms house and we will have homemade, just-the-way-we-like-em’ Bloody Marys on the patio. And even though the 5 hours without wifi have stopped me from sending endless resumes, following leads, and making online introductions as I should be doing- I am not focused on the wasted time or the clock ticking away on my severance, I am focused on the Bloody Marys. My happy drink, in my happy place. Just thought I’d share. (Please forgive my sappy transgression- snarky will be back in short order.)

Last stop. In all honesty, it gets a little fuzzy at this point. We lost the bulk of our party, and just me, Lindsay, Jen, Michael, Kate and Dave continued across the street from Northside to Silver Cloud. I’ve been to Silver Cloud before but my only feeling on it is that you eat Sloppy Joes there. Anyway, we stood around the bar, chatting and drinking until the wee hours of the night (well, probably only 11pm - but you try drinking bloody marys for nearly 12 hours). It was pretty much just Jen talking to Dave about politics and corporate America, Kate and I reminiscing about the two-week learning camp we met at 14 years ago, and Lindsay and Michael doing impersonations of famous Canadians (just kidding - I have no idea what we talked about - other than the Jen/Dave thing - seriously: total blur).

Jen and I were the only two to rally and order bloody marys ($7), affording us the opportunity of consuming one of the better bloodies of the day. Jen, seemingly less intoxicated than yours-truly, remarked that she “had to ask for a chaser, but [it was] otherwise [her] favorite bloody mary of the day.” Then she wrote “salty,” followed by something I can’t read. She appreciated the celery-salted rim, the chaser and that the drink was spicy (although we requested them to be that way). She gave it four stars.

I also gave it four stars, but you should really read my gracefully, poetically written notes for yourself:

I am a master researcher. Also, ever since reading Bridget Jones’s Diary, I use the letter “v” as shorthand for “very.” Do other people do that?

Those are the only pathetic pictures that I have of the Silver Cloud bloody. I searched online and found only a couple others but they had a ton of garnishes in them. Either that’s a brunch thing or we got screwed. More selective bartending pointed our way…?

Even ignoring my drunk four-star review of the place, Jen has had their bloody before and is a reliable judge.

All-in-all, most of the bloody marys we had on our crawl weren’t that great. I’ve definitely had better in the city and look forward to blogging about them in the future. Thanks to all the friends who joined us for some bloodies or beers and all the poor unfortunate souls who had to serve us. 

Oh, and if you work at Silver Cloud: have you seen a black, sparkly scarf with Tomato Clamato buttons on it?  That’s mine, thanks.

Average Star Rating: 

Silver Cloud Supper Club

1700 N Damen Ave
Chicago, IL 60647 (map)
Neighborhood: Wicker Park

(773) 489-6212
www.silvercloudchicago.com

After no more than one Bloody Mary (and a beer or two) at Blue Line I was hopeful for a better Bloody at Northside only about a block away. We made a quick walk over (losing Dan, Katie, Melissa C., Trevor and Emily along the way: Thanks for coming y’all!). At Northside there is a front room and a back area with bars in each, as well as an indoor and outdoor eating area. It’s kind of college-y feeling, though the clientele isn’t all ALL college. Throughout the day we all noticed a LOT of Blackhawks fans (fair enough, playoffs and all), a weird group in what looked like karate uniforms with red belts- some of the wearing on horns on their heads (huh?), and an exorbitant amount of super-drunk girls wearing leggings as pants (get it together ladies). We refueled with some goat cheese pizza and chicken nuggets and ordered our Bloodies. 

These ones were pretty- garnished with salami cubes (none for me though), a good little dill pickle, cheese and olives. They were thin, but not in necessarily in a bad way. It had a good flavor, but Hil, Jen and I all agreed it could use more of it. It was light and really drinkable, and for the most part everyone agreed that while we wouldn’t make a special trip to Northside for them, we would all drink the bloodies there again.

People started to peel away a bit at this point in the day (evening?) but we did get to see Kate E. (my high school friend) and her husband which was a treat- especially when she and Hil figured out that they knew each other long before I was ever a glimmer in Hil’s eye. It was also great to hear about Kyle’s adventures on her local food tour of the U.S. I wonder if she had any good Bloody Marys…hmmm.

Overall we gave the Northside Bloody Mary: 3/4 (would have been a solid 3 if they included a sidecar.)

Northside Bar & Grill

1635 N Damen Ave.
Chicago, IL 60647
Neighborhoods: Bucktown/Wicker Park

773.384.3555
http://northsidechicago.com

After we finished up brunch at Twisted Spoke we were headed to the Blue Line which is—shock!—right under the Blue Line at the Damen stop. Getting there may have been more fun than actually being there…not that we didn’t have fun there…

Anyway, the 6 of us lovely ladies piled into Ms. Hedda’s Volvo for the ride over to Wicker Park. Kate requested the hardest rap we could find on the radio (which is pretty soft without satellite radio, truthfully) but we did our best to blare beats out the windows. Once we parked (scored a sweet spot!) the red heads (Hedda, Hillary and Jen) walked in front of us and we realized with them all in green coats we had a small gaggle of leprechauns on our hands (albeit super hot ones!). Friendly jibing ensued.

Then we ran into Hill’s good-looking friend John- our rap-filled ride and morning of Bloodies made us all a bit punchy- I’m pretty sure we looked like asses. Sad.

To the Blue Line! We grabbed a few areas with tables, booths and stools in the “train car” looking interior. It’s got kind of a 1930s feel to it (though it claims to be ’50s). I liked the ambiance well enough- and it was a good place for a group- at least during the day- because we could pull up a bunch of velvet stools around the tables to accommodate people as they arrived. 

Onto the important part. Everyone seemed to have about the same reaction to the Bloodies across the board: 1) Whoa, this is sweet!?, and 2) Why!?. There was a strange, unnameable sweetness that no one seemed to be able to source. Trevor, Melissa C., Hil, Dan and I all took note of the sweetness on our score cards and then most of us went on to say that is started sweet and ended spicy. I thought that the only time it was any good was when you noticed the kicky, spice aftertaste. No one could figure these ones out and the result was that it was kind of like each sip tasted like 2 different drinks: one weirdly sweet and the other with a decent spice but not nearly enough of it. It came garnished with a piece of celery and two olives and Kate and I noticed that a lot of people were getting celery with the leafy foliage still attached- the furry part. Both of us hoped for a non-furry piece. (It’s prettier but eww.) All in all with no draft beers and lackluster Bloodies- Jen had the right idea on her scorecard: “Stick to martini’s at Blue Line”.

Average Star Rating:  1/3

Blue Line Lounge and Grill

1548 North Damen
Chicago, Illinois 60622
Neighborhoods: Bucktown/Wicker Park

773.395.3700
http://bluelineloungeandgrill.com/